If I would have not been taking care of my health, I would be eating to comfort all of the feelings that are coming to surface about being a daughter of addicts. Sooooo .... here I am .... not being able to eat a honeybun to ease my anxiety. Yeah real chat... when I am nervous or feel anxiety... I want a sweet something.. no not a fruit, but a processed sweet something.
Anyways... I am here.. I am still living, I am fearless, I am healthy, my body is responding to my eating well, working out, affirmations, and positive people.:) I am blessed. I see how things are becoming more balanced since I decided to take myself on powerfully.
Here is the flyer for the Pearls of Wisdom Event :
If you are interested in participating click on flyer for more info!
Ok so back to how my last few days have been... ehhhhhhh... they have been
interesting. I have not cheated, been drinking my water... missed swimming 2 times... and really came down on myself for that... then #resettheclock, forgave myself and kept it moving. I noticed that I have been so brutal with myself for so many years... telling myself that I am not good enough, that my thighs and pipa are gross, really not being able to fully commit to a partner because of fear that they would leave me for "otra mas flaca". The impact of my weight has been huge. It has impacted every single part of my life. I want to shout out my mother right now for giving me life and for always loving me, supporting me, and encouraging me... no matter what weight I was/am.
Funny thing is that I have been told too many times by people "Damn girl you pretty in the face!" I would smile and say thank you, then walk away wondering about the rest of me? As these revelations are coming up about how much addiction to processed food and addiction to shame have on me, I decided to start writing Latina Hood Affirmations... here are a few...
I won't compare myself to models in magazines!
Dear body of mine... thank you for being patient with me... thank you for still working for me even though I have mistreated you and have let others mistreat you too! I love you and will do all that I can to respect you, for you are my temple
I want people in my life who are going to support me in my journey to a fully healthy lifestyle. #negativepeopleneedtobeatit
The choice is yours.... be happy or don't be! I can't make that choice for you! The choice that I can make is to not entertain your choice....my choice is to leave u right there in yours. Peace out! I will pray for you!
I love me! ♥ You should love you too!
I love you, I adore you, I admire you, and I demand respect from you! Don't get it twisted!
Your lips are as soft as the all of the petals of those pink self love roses you gave me! #suave
My love is exciting, encouraging, and everlasting.
You love reminds me of abuelo and abuelas morning talks... fresh coffee... african kisses
My love looks like un pari en la marquecina.....
My love feels like the the cool breeze on a hot sticky day....
My love is tastes like a freshly picked racimo of sweet quenepas.....
Yo creo en el espiritu que vive en mi... esa luz NADIE la pude apagar!!!
As I work out for ME.... I clear myself anger, pain, resentment, guilt, shame, hurt, confusion, and ego!
Mira... este pari que tu tienes conmigo de hacerme sentir como si yo no valgo la pena SE ACABO! Yo voy a MI! Largate!
I love the way you look at me when we talk about music... I love the way you watch me when I'm on stage... I love the way....
Si tu intencion es maltrarme... orare por ti!
Mi cuerpo se ha defendido de trauma por años y años.... amo a mi cuerpo y le doy gracias por cuidarme en mis tiempos mas dificiles. Nunca le hablare mal. Eres mi templo y te respeto!
Mi estilo es unico, el tuyo tambien... dale gracias a Dios que tu eres tu, y yo yo! No hay competencia... nunca seremos igual... y no hay nada malo con eso.
Y ahora que yo se pa donde voy.... o te peinas o te haces rolos.... porque yo sigo Pa'lante! ♥
Yo se que lo que yo digo es importante porque soy hija de Dios.
My feelings are valid.
My curves are just fine the way that they are! I am the one who is choosing to redefine their form, not society and not u homeboy! Chula y con curvas que me pertenecen a mi... no a ti! Cabron!
SELF-LOVE = STANDING UP FOR YOURSELF!
Don't put up with it! Make the choice to get out NOW! You know where its going! Nowhere! Get out before it is tooooo late! You know who you are!
The real me is good enough!
I am not afraid to say what I think!
Well maybe more than a few. I can tell you that I felt so much better. I put these on facebook and one of my friends said that I should make a book... thanks TK! :)
So my mood has been great, I have not been angry or super moody...
amen to that right there... I was noticing how really outta control my mood is based on what I eat.
Here is a video of me on Saturday, April 16th. I decided to step out even tho I said that I would not be stepping out. I am glad that I peeped some hip hop in Brooklyn. Check out my video below....
Let's move on to today.. April 20th... Wednesday... Day 8
So I had a full morning of activities. Got dropped off at the gym, swam for 90 minutes trying out some really cool aerobics that an elder lady taught me... cuz u know the viejitas are loving me at this point.. I walk in and they are like Sita girl... I'm glad mami and papi taught me manners. Anyways, she taught me some cool moves and so I trained, then I took time and walked home and ran into the most beautiful pieces of art on my walk home... mind u my walk is overlooking the Hudson River.. yes I know.. looking at the George Washington Bridge and the Little Red Boat House. Look at these reminders...
And to add a "TOMA!!!!!!!!!!!!" to the whole walk, I run into this
I guess it was just to remind me that if I don't take this seriously, I could end up there sooner than later.... I choose later! Thanks
I love me and you!
Tere
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