Day 8

Well it's been 4 days since I have posted on here... It's actually been quite hard to write down what I am feeling deep inside. I am organizing a show thru my Pearls of Wisdom Event Series called "Daughter's of Addicts" (D.O.A.) .... I can't even begin to tell you how difficult it has been to make this event pop off... no... not because of other people... it's because of me. A lot of things have really been coming up for me regarding Addiction in my family.I thought that I was going to have a showcase with other womyn who are also daughters, but it has ended up becoming a rebirth healing circle at Casa Atabex Ache - A Womyn of Color Healing Space in the South Bronx.  Who would have thought. I know that God did this all with a purpose. I will be having a D.O.A. Artists Showcase on Sat. May 28th called "Detoxing thru Art". 


 If I would have not been taking care of my health, I would be eating to comfort all of the feelings that are coming to surface about being a daughter of addicts. Sooooo .... here I am .... not being able to eat a honeybun to ease my anxiety. Yeah real chat... when I am nervous or feel anxiety... I want a sweet something.. no not a fruit, but a processed sweet something. 
Anyways... I am here.. I am still living, I am fearless, I am healthy, my body is responding to my eating well, working out, affirmations, and positive people.:) I am blessed. I see how things are becoming more balanced since I decided to take myself on powerfully. 
Here is the flyer for the Pearls of Wisdom Event :

If you are interested in participating click on flyer for more info!

Ok so back to how my last few days have been... ehhhhhhh... they have been 

interesting. I have not cheated, been drinking my water... missed swimming 2 times... and really came down on myself for that... then #resettheclock, forgave myself and kept it moving. I noticed that I have been so brutal with myself for so many years... telling myself that I am not good enough, that my thighs and pipa are gross, really not being able to fully commit to a partner because of fear that they would leave me for "otra mas flaca". The impact of my weight has been huge. It has impacted every single part of my life. I want to shout out my mother right now for giving me life and for always loving me, supporting me, and encouraging me... no matter what weight I was/am. 

Funny thing is that I have been told too many times by people "Damn girl you pretty in the face!" I would smile and say thank you, then walk away wondering about the rest of me? As these revelations are coming up about how much addiction to processed food and addiction to shame have on me, I decided to start writing Latina Hood Affirmations... here are a few...

I won't compare myself to models in magazines!

Dear body of mine... thank you for being patient with me... thank you for still working for me even though I have mistreated you and have let others mistreat you too! I love you and will do all that I can to respect you, for you are my temple

I want people in my life who are going to support me in my journey to a fully healthy lifestyle. #negativepeopleneedtobeatit

The choice is yours.... be happy or don't be! I can't make that choice for you! The choice that I can make is to not entertain your choice....my choice is to leave u right there in yours. Peace out! I will pray for you!

I love me! ♥ You should love you too!

I love you, I adore you, I admire you, and I demand respect from you! Don't get it twisted!

Your lips are as soft as the all of the petals of those pink self love roses you gave me! #suave

My love is exciting, encouraging, and everlasting.

You love reminds me of abuelo and abuelas morning talks... fresh coffee... african kisses

My love looks like un pari en la marquecina.....

My love feels like the the cool breeze on a hot sticky day....

My love is tastes like a freshly picked racimo of sweet quenepas.....

Yo creo en el espiritu que vive en mi... esa luz NADIE la pude apagar!!!

As I work out for ME.... I clear myself anger, pain, resentment, guilt, shame, hurt, confusion, and ego!

Mira... este pari que tu tienes conmigo de hacerme sentir como si yo no valgo la pena SE ACABO! Yo voy a MI! Largate!

I love the way you look at me when we talk about music... I love the way you watch me when I'm on stage... I love the way....

Si tu intencion es maltrarme... orare por ti!

Mi cuerpo se ha defendido de trauma por años y años.... amo a mi cuerpo y le doy gracias por cuidarme en mis tiempos mas dificiles. Nunca le hablare mal. Eres mi templo y te respeto!

Mi estilo es unico, el tuyo tambien... dale gracias a Dios que tu eres tu, y yo yo! No hay competencia... nunca seremos igual... y no hay nada malo con eso.

Y ahora que yo se pa donde voy.... o te peinas o te haces rolos.... porque yo sigo Pa'lante! ♥

Yo se que lo que yo digo es importante porque soy hija de Dios.

My feelings are valid.

My curves are just fine the way that they are! I am the one who is choosing to redefine their form, not society and not u homeboy! Chula y con curvas que me pertenecen a mi... no a ti! Cabron!

SELF-LOVE = STANDING UP FOR YOURSELF!

Don't put up with it! Make the choice to get out NOW! You know where its going! Nowhere! Get out before it is tooooo late! You know who you are!

The real me is good enough! 

I am not afraid to say what I think!

Well maybe more than a few. I can tell you that I felt so much better. I put these on facebook and one of my friends said that I should make a book... thanks TK! :) 

So my mood has been great, I have not been angry or super moody...

amen to that right there... I was noticing how really outta control my mood is based on what I eat. 

Here is a video of me on Saturday, April 16th. I decided to step out even tho I said that I would not be stepping out. I am glad that I peeped some hip hop in Brooklyn. Check out my video below....  

Click here to see my video Day 4 of 24 day challenge

Let's move on to today.. April 20th... Wednesday... Day 8

So I had a full morning of activities. Got dropped off at the gym, swam for 90 minutes trying out some really cool aerobics that an elder lady taught me... cuz u know the viejitas are loving me at this point.. I walk in and they are like Sita girl... I'm glad mami and papi taught me manners. Anyways, she taught me some cool moves and so I trained, then I took time and walked home and ran into the most beautiful pieces of art on my walk home... mind u my walk is overlooking the Hudson River.. yes I know.. looking at the George Washington Bridge and the Little Red Boat House. Look at these reminders...

 And to add a "TOMA!!!!!!!!!!!!" to the whole walk, I run into this 

  

I guess it was just to remind me that if I don't take this seriously, I could end up there sooner than later.... I choose later! Thanks 

I love me and you! 

Tere 

Day 3 of 24 day challenge - tired

Hola !

 Damn Iwas so tired yesterday.. I expected to have a lot more energy than what I had. I learned that expectations are not necessarily what I should be working under during this transformation, or any type of relationship because you are setting yourself up for failure. It is great to be gaining wisdom in this way because 

only I am checking my own ego... its harder when someone else is telling you what is right and what is wrong. 

Here is the video that shares a bit about how I feel.. some days I will write and others 

I will just post the video. Here is my video from day 3....

Click here to see the video!

"I Make Healthy Eating Choices "

Making healthy eating choices is a large part of weight loss achievement. This weight loss affirmation helps you to remind yourself that you are to be making these types of eating choices. You put healthy foods into your body because they work for it, not against it and they make you healthy too!

"I Enjoy Exercise and Appreciate What it Does For My Body"

Exercise is yet another weight loss essential. You exercise because you want to lose weight, it matters to you. You know it will help you drop the pounds, feel good and look good. You don't think of it as a task, you make time for exercise because it rewards your body.

"I am Healthy and Full of Energy"

Even before you begin to feel and see the results of your exercise and healthy eating, verbally reassure yourself of the benefits you'll reap. As you progress in your weight loss journey, you will be healthier, you are being healthy now and you have massive amounts of energy.

"Weight Loss is Easy and Effortless for Me"

Weight loss takes time, and for many people (especially those who crave instant gratification) this fact can be intimidating and discouraging. When you go into your weight loss plan believing it will be easy and effortless it will be more so for you.

"I Do Not Over Eat. I Leave Food on My Plate When I am Full"

A common struggle for those desiring to lose weight is avoiding overeating. Make a conscious decision to stop eating when your body tells you it is full. Listening to it will be easier when you listen to this simple tried and true phrase.

"I Practice Good Portion Control"

Overeating can be overall avoided through the practice of good portion control at meal times. Before each meal, whether at home or dining out, reinforce the fact that you make good choices when it comes to portion control and cut meals in half before you begin to eat.

"Body Fat Falls Off of Me Fast"

When you convince yourself that weight loss is easy and effortless for you, this weight loss affirmation can accompany those truths. The more you take care of yourself, make wise eating choices and exercise regularly, the body fat will fall off of you fast!

"I Maintain a Healthy Weight"

As you begin to see your body transform into the body you have wanted, appreciate it and declare that it is yours and you intend to keep it. You've worked hard to lose any amount of weight you have lost and to ultimately reach your ideal weight. Affirm that you will maintain your healthy weight.

"My Body is Beautiful, and it is More Beautiful Each Day"

This weight loss affirmation is the most important to hold in mind. Undoubtedly you will be happier with your healthier self, but remember to love the body that belongs to you right now. It is beautiful, and it is becoming more beautiful each day!

"You've got to say, I think that if I keep working at this and want it badly enough I can have it. It's called perseverance."
Lee Iacocca

I love me and you,

Tere

Day 2 of 24! OPENING UP! Written on Day 3

Paz!

I tried to write yesterday and couldn't... it just wasn't in me. There are so many things that are coming up for me. It's been an emotional roller coaster, really feeling things deep inside, no sweets to comfort them. I went to swimming alone and so I didn't have my brother Sidd there to talk to me and check in on me. I felt alone, and then it hit me that I HAVE TO DO THIS ALONE! The support is awesome, pero I am the only one who can/will make this happen, all of the support from my friends and family is just that... support and an act of love. I have to wake up in the morning and get my physical activity on and choose healthy foods. 

I was full of energy after the swim... did laundry, threaded eyebrows, came home and cooked a nice 

healthy lunch and dinner. Started reading The Alchemist thanks to my sister Rhina who told me I had to read it as it is perfect during transitions in life. I haven't put it down. I got emails.... some from friends with cool phone apps (thanksVero) and others who are going through the same issue as me. 

I have decided that I am going to write on my blog everyday within these 24 days the same way poets take on writing 30 poems in 30 days for Poetry Month. Word. I will write at least one word to describe my feelings. 

I didn't want to take a picture of myself, sooooooo......

I took this picture on my walk out of the gym... it is a semi hill and long ass path to get to the street from the 

gym... the symbolism behind this picture is that I know that in changing my lifestyle, I have chosen a path that is only going uphill and is paved, ready for me. It may be long but it is well worth it.

This second picture is how I felt yesterday.. a prisoner of my emotions, behind the gate, looking out and wanting to have the flow and agility of the Hudson River and the Strength and Power of the George Washington Bridge. I will get there... I am setting up  my foundation right now. 

There is nothing wrong with me! I am beautiful! 

Life is sacred. I hold in my heart all the parts of myself—the infant, the child, the teenager, the young adult, the adult, and my present and future self. My story includes every success and every failure, every error and every truthful insight, and all of it is valuable. I have compassion for me, and I also feel compassion for others. I create a life of acceptance and understanding. - Louise L. Hay 

I <3 me and you,

Tere

Day 1 of 24 day Challenge!

My first blog ever! Today was a relatively long day. 
I started my Advocare 24 day challenge. Handled 
all of the steps to make it happen today. It is also my 
second day swimming. I have had to take up swimming, versus 
getting on the treadmill because my ankle is still jacked up from 
twisting it this winter. My weight has not let it heal properly. 
I feel amazing in the pool. Thank God that I am not embarrassed to 
rock a bathing suit, so the process of the life guards and the people in 
the gym/pool looking at me does not impact me as much as it may
for another sister or brother with weight issues. I am the youngest 
woman in the pool, most of the other women are elders who seem 
to have suffered from surgeries to their knees, hips, and backs. 
I am really blessed to have this opportunity to reclaim my health 
and life back. Luckily, I have not been diagnosed with heart disease, 
diabetes, and all of those other deadly diseases that consume us obese folks. 


Breakfast: Shake 
snack : 20 almonds 
Lunch : Chicken Salad with avocado 
Dinner Eggplant spread, 1 boiled platano, 2 boiled eggs, salad
Click to view my 1st video! First day of my lifestyle change!
oops its sideways... next one will be better... :)


Thanks for joining me in this journey!
23days to go...
I love me and you, 
Tere


"I am glad to be alive!"- Louise Hay